Dating: 7 Healthy Habits

Dating is interesting and desirable for people of any age. Here are 7 habits for dating and choosing healthy partners.

1. Go slowly in a new relationship. There is no reason to rush. Enjoy the experience of really getting to know someone. Put off the “Where are we going with this?” discussion for 6 months.

2. Think about your past relationships and learn from them. What did you do right and what you want to do differently?

3. Have a checklist of qualities that are important to you and stick with them. Dating is more about finding someone healthy for you than someone who likes you.

4. Think of dating as a sport rather than an intense search for THE ONE. Relax and have fun.

5. Meet your date’s friends and let some of your friends meet your date. See how he/she acts around friends and assess what you think about your date’s friends.

6. Consider a rule for yourself about sex and intimacy such as not to sleep with someone new for at least a month.

7. And finally, never mistake infatuation for love.

Do you have ideas as well? We would love to hear from you.

Tip of the Week, December 29, 2008

Begin a Gratitude Journal. Every night, write down 3 things that you are grateful for that day.

Low-Cost, High Affection Holiday Gift Ideas

Make a photo album of one of your favorite trips, holidays or moments. Write captions and a dedication page.

Low-Cost, High Affection Holiday Gift Ideas

Create and write in a journal, with your own handwriting, a list of “25 ways that I think you are special” or “25 reasons why I love you“.

Low-Cost, High Affection Holiday Gift Ideas

Make a family “communication” box. Find a small box and put trinkets in there that will communicate feelings. A band aid can mean “I am hurting”, a Kleenex can mean “I need a good cry”. A candy heart for “I need love”. A small lifesaver can symbolize “I am feeling overwhelmed.” A place card can mean “I need a favor”. Put the box in a place where all can see it every day. When someone needs any one of these emotional needs met, they just lay out the symbol for others in the family to see.

Tip of the Week, December 22, 2008

As we struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by December's bad weather, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives who are worth this aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same. - Donald E. Westlake

Another Low-Cost, High Affection Holiday Gift Idea

Get a lot of small items from the dollar store … or make/bake some. Wrap each one individually and attach instructions to only open one a day until New Year’s Day

Another Low-Cost, High Affection Holiday Gift Idea

Collect and burn a cd, specially made for your friend or family member. Add one song that you chose because it reminds you of him or her … along with a note that explains why.

Ideas for Low-Cost, High Care Christmas Giving

It is a week until Christmas. We know that many people are worried about how to provide gifts for their family and friends and yet want to give them something. We are going to offer one idea each day until Christmas.

Today's idea: a Family Staycation. Pretend that you are on vacation in your own home. Do things that you would normally do on vacation, stay up late and sleep in, eat different foods, play games, visit interesting sites, watch movies and eat popcorn. Celebrate time together.

Tip of the Week, December 15, 2008

For one of your holiday gifts, talk with your partner about your proudest moments. Share with each other what things about yourself and your relationship that make you the most proud.

Holiday Rituals Are Gifts

When you think back on your childhood, what do you most remember … the gifts that you received or experiences that you had? For us, and probably for many of you, more emotion is around how your family celebrated holidays.

It is comforting to think about that in these times of financial stress, because rituals cost very little money and are so important in bonding families together and promoting healthy and positive feelings about each other and about this special time of the year.

Some of the rituals we have heard about recently involve family outings to pick out the Christmas tree, special food, drinks and music, baking for neighbors, midnight religious ceremonies, caroling in neighborhoods.

One of our favorites involves “train night”. We invite all of the grandchildren to spend the night, get out John’s childhood train and put it up. One of the grandchildren gets to go with Papa John to pick out a new accessory for the train every year. We have popcorn and hot chocolate while John reads The Polar Express and the next morning we all walk to the candy store to pick out special treats. The children make sure that we maintain the same routine and look forward to it every year.

Please share some of your rituals with us.

Tip of the Week, December 8, 2008

Let go of planning for tomorrow. Live in the present.